My dad Dino affectionately known as Papa to all of the grandchildren died on April 13th sometime in the early morning. Oma called me about 4 in the morning and said they had had a bad night and wondered if Papa was okay and if she should call the hospital . I told her that if she wasn't sure he was breathing or his heart was beating she should call 911. She responded with, "I don't think it is time for that. He is snoring now." I told her that if he was snoring that he was finally sleeping and so she should sleep as well. Later I realized that the snoring she heard may possibly be the death rattle.
It gives me such peace of mind to know that dad died at peace and with a smile on his face, not just any smile but his lamb chop smile. There was absolutely no sign of struggle or pain.
I decided to go over after work and could intuitively feel that this had already happened. I knew that very likely I was going to see death or at the very least have to call 911 and begin the process of hell that dad would have hated. I truly believe that dad chose to go this way. the last time we had to call 911 he went to the hospital yelling no no.
When I entered the home mom was standing in the doorway with her eyes very red saying that she was afraid to go over to dad. So I was the one that found him. he was already at least partially cold and stiff. And I looked at mom and said, "I'm sorry he is gone." Then our tears began.
Here is another thing I learned that if a person is not on hospice then they have to have an investigation by the medical examiner to determine if there was foul play. There wasn't of course. And the irony is on the way over I had called palliative care and requested an assessment for hospice again. And yet since I left work I felt a tightness in my chest that meant death. This wouldn't fully go away until after the funeral.
No comments:
Post a Comment