A really wonderful aside to Brian's Confirmation is that Karin and I have been able to have a few really meaningful spiritual conversations via email in regards to the Catholic Faith. Quite honestly, it's the first time I needed to access the Catechism to do some thorough research for YEARS. It was quite intense and yet refreshing. Here are a few significant emails that I thought would serve the girls well in later years when they are preparing to, perhaps, share a bit of their faith with other Christians not familiar with Roman Catholicism:
From Noelle to Karin on 4/5:
Dearest Karin & FamilyIt's just SO special to us that you are attending Mass tomorrow! Brian is SO excited that many people are celebrating these special Sacraments with him! Let's see, you asked about things to know, . . . I'm not sure how much explanation you would like, . . . I'll certainly give you guys a little children's book about it during the actual Mass so you can read more, just for fun. The big difference is that (and you probably already know this) because Jesus instituted the Eucharist at the Last Supper by saying "This is My Body" and "This is My Blood" and "Do this in remembrance of Me," our Communion (or Eucharist) is actually the body and blood of Jesus changed in substance but not in form. It is not a symbol, it is the actual Body & Blood of Christ (the same as at the last supper). That is why this Sacrament is so important to Brian (and all of us). Catholics believe that in order to be Saved you must partake of Jesus' actual body and blood each day we honor the Sabbath (Sunday). Long story short, that means that those who truly believe this (Catholics & converted Catholics) partake of Communion. But Leia & Annie (children who haven't received their first Eucharist yet) and others who are not Catholic are invited to go up at Communion time anyway and receive a special blessing. : ) To do this, you simply follow everyone else, and make sure you cross your arms across your chest (similar to the way you sign "i love you"). You can also simply stay standing/seated (and not go up) during Communion if you feel uncomfortable. Brian went up to Communion every week with his arms crossed to receive that special blessing (and you'll see Leia Rose do that tomorrow), . . . and we'll show you how when you get here. : ) The only other thing different is peace time. Again, instituted by Christ when he said "Peace be with you!" after he had risen and first appeared to his apostles. After the priest invites us, the entire congregation shakes hands with those around them and says "Peace be with you!" separately to each one. ; ) We will be holding our hands out to you at that time, and those behind and in front will do the same. : ) Let's see, the only other advice is simply to follow everyone else in regards to standing/sitting/kneeling when it is time. There are different reasons why we do each, . . . too long of a story to tell here. Most of the service, you will see, is similar to your own. Even the three readings from the Bible will be the same as in your own Church (at least that is the case usually, I have found). : ) I hope you will feel at home with us here! : ) I SO want you to feel welcome! I can't tell you how much it means to us, personally, that you want to come. Anywho, . . . Feel free to ask me any other questions in regards to Catholicism etc. I'll do my best to answer them. I'm just SO glad you are coming! And Leia Rose just can't wait to see Kevin!Love,NoelleP.S. In case you are wondering why the church is called "Saint Thomas More" Roman Catholic Church, it is because Saint Thomas More was the priest who was a spiritual advisor to Henry VIII and was killed because he refused to tell King Henry that it was "okay" to divorce/kill his first wife in order to marry a second. Boy, that's the saint's history in a nutshell for ya'. ; )
From Karin to Noelle on 4/5:
Thanks so much for all the info!! We look forward to coming tomorrow!It sounds like your experience of Protestant churches may have been more traditional ones than ours (mostly based on your comment about the 3 Scripture readings). ;) I grew up in a very traditional United Methodist Church — traditional in appearance (stone building with stained glass windows, etc.) & in service (lots of rituals & traditional hymns). I was an acolyte in high school & learned to understand even more of the rituals, like the meaning of the steps up to the alter and which ones we could even stand on, etc., etc. I went to a Baptist camp in high school (in New York state — the same camp my mom attended as a child) & really accepted Christ when I was there (although I had technically already done so at age 5). It actually MEANT something to me through my experience at that camp. Anyway... I had a lot of trouble accepting contemporary worship when I started experiencing it in college. I think it was finally at the church I found in CA (where I met Steve) that I learned to love it! And we have attended contemporary churches ever since, which also aim to attract non-Believers by being more informal. It was our church’s obvious passion for God and desire to follow Him and understand His Word that drew us in. And we really felt that that’s where God wanted us to be. So here we are! ;) Anyway... All that to say that, although I know what you mean by things like the 3 Scripture readings (because I grew up with that — and standing for the Gospel reading), our church is very far from the traditional background I grew up in. :) I grew up reciting things in church, doing responsive readings, etc. Of course, we absolutely DO read Scripture in our worship service! ;) But it’s not done in a formal way. Instead, it’s part of the sermon, the greeting, etc., etc. And all of our music is very contemporary with a worship band. Anyway... I just realized that you may not know much about our church, so I thought I’d explain a bit. :)I’ve known the importance of Communion in the Catholic Church & that it is not a symbol. As I’m sure you know, for us, Communion is a symbol – yet still very significant and meaningful and ordained by God. I have attended some churches where Communion is taken weekly, but our church (and most that I have experienced) do it monthly. I’ve enjoyed doing it monthly, as I feel that for me, it gives it even more meaning since it’s done less frequently. And that’s how it is treated — that Communion Sunday is a special Sunday. I was surprised though that you said that Catholics believe that it is essential for salvation. I had never heard that before. We simply believe that accepting Christ as your Lord and Savior is the way to Heaven. (I honestly don’t know what a true Methodist would say, as they never really taught that subject – surprisingly! My mom grew up Baptist, so I was taught as a young child that I would need to ask Jesus into my heart in order to be saved. Methodists don’t teach that. But that’s definitely what I believe & so does our current church. And the most important thing to me BY FAR as a mother is that our children one day make that decision for themselves. It is amazing for me to think that Kevin is approaching an age where he could potentially make that decision. I did it when I was 5.)By the way, since tone is hard to read in email — I just want you to know that I’m just being conversational & sharing with you about our church, my church experience & my faith. :) I know that some of our beliefs differ, and I don’t want you to take my sharing about anything as an affront at all — because it is definitely not intended that way in the least!!Anyway, thanks again for all the info!! :) We look forward to seeing you tomorrow! In the meantime, Kevin is napping & we’re relaxing...and then we have more bday celebrating to do tonight! :)Love,Karin
From Noelle to Karin on 4/5:
You are the sweetest, Karin! ; ) You're right about tone in email, . . . but you did a great job with a very positive "I'm-sharing-my-faith-and-beliefs" conversational type of tone. I was hoping the tone of my email was the same. : ) You know how amazed I am at the beautiful Christian beliefs of your family, and certainly didn't mean any "affront" either. (I hope it wasn't taken that way.) It's just really hard to explain why everyone doesn't take Communion in a Catholic Church. ; ) I had lots of wonderful experiences explaining my faith to many Baptist friends in particular at Furman (and quite a few who became ministers in their respective faiths). And, if you can believe it, they were ALL positive outcomes. I remember being very surprised that not everyone had a positive experience with that. ; ) So interesting to consider the idea of "contemporary worship." Furman was my first experience with that as well, but I always loved it. Whatever brought people closer to God. I also had wonderful experiences in both BSU, IV, and FCA (as well as Newman of course). As our pastor says, it's wonderful that everyone can gather under the Christian umbrella. ; ) Needless to say, I try really hard NOT to judge others no matter what. Not my job, not my place, you know? ; ) And I have a sneaky feeling that Heaven will be more welcoming instead of limiting. : ) I really appreciate also the history of your faith! What a neat thing! I also love the move toward informality. It's similar at our Church as well. I'm just not a "Sunday dress" type of Christian. : ) Although I will be wearing something nicer tomorrow, just for the occasion. : ) (And in regards to informality, I have always said that I hope Jesus wants to go to the beach in Heaven and just "hang out," because I can only stand about one hour of hymns & other assorted holy things, . . . then I get a bit squirmy. Ha!) And, Karin, I have a feeling that Kevin will freely choose to accept Christ, . . . and it will be soon! ; ) (I think he is even further along in his spiritual journey than Leia Rose!)
Again, it's just so special that your family is going to come and worship with us tomorrow. I couldn't ask for a more caring, devoted, and loyal friend. We love you guys!!!
Love,
Noelle
From Karin to Noelle on 4/12:
I’m so glad your experience has been that Protestants have been very accepting and loving while discussing aspects of faith!! But most of them would not, after the discussion, decide to become Catholic. I just mean that — although they may be accepting, they still hold to their own beliefs. And when you raise your child a certain way and they head in a different direction, that can definitely be upsetting. I hope that you don’t mind me saying this at all!!!! I’m just trying to open up perhaps another perspective, since you did bring it up. :) Seeing as Steve and I are Protestants, and we are raising our children as Protestants... Well, I would definitely want them to remain Protestants, just as I’m sure you want your girls to remain Catholic. I hope that makes logical sense to you without sounding like an affront at all!!! It just becomes A LOT more personal when it’s your child. :)Anyway, I’m only saying all this to try to HELP... I hope you don’t take ANYTHING in a bad way at all!!! Because that’s not intended in the least!!! I hope you don’t mind me going a bit further...Do I understand correctly that Catholics believe that you must attend mass (take Communion) each Sunday in order to be saved? That isn’t something I used to know or understand. I have actually often found that Baptists don’t necessarily believe Catholics are going to heaven. Please don’t take that as a personal statement from me! Afterall, I’m not even Baptist. :) I personally believe that what the Bible says is true — that simply if someone accepts Christ as their Lord and Savior, they will be saved. I hope I’m being helpful & not annoying!!!!!!!!!I love you, Noelle!!!!!! :)Love,Karin
(After Much Research) From Noelle to Karin on 4/12:
You are a real sweetheart, Karin! No affront taken! Switch the Protestant/Catholic words in the first paragraph, . . . and I would say the same thing. As for the rest, . . . wow, this is probably the deepest that I've ever gotten into this. Earlier today, I swear, my brain was about to explode with all of the spiritual information and spiritual conundrums I was experiencing in regards to your most recent question. But I prayed about it a lot and asked the Holy Spirit to guide my words as to what to say, so this is my best reply and in the most simplified form I could muster:
"Do I understand correctly that Catholics believe that you must attend mass (take Communion) each Sunday in order to be saved?" The quick answer is "no." It would be more proper to say that the belief is that true Roman Catholics must receive the Eucharist in order to be saved (there is no weekly requirement for Eucharist, . . . only to honor the Lord's day by attending Mass is our obligation). The key words here are "true Catholics" & "Eucharist." Why? Biblically, Jesus said, "Peter, you are Rock and upon this Rock I will build my Church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it" (Matthew 16:18). Further, "Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you shall not have life within you" (John 6:53).
To get even more specific about it, here is a quote from the Catechism: "They could not be saved who, knowing that the Catholic Church was founded as necessary by God through Christ, would refuse either to enter it or to remain in it." This is very disconcerting, . . . until you realize that any Christian who is not Catholic obviously does not live "knowing that the Catholic Church was founded as necessary by God through Christ." If they thought that it was necessary, . . . they would be Catholic, right? I think a former pastor of mine put it best: "If you are a Christian, living a good Christian life and seeking God with a sincere heart, you surely may achieve eternal salvation, . . . But if you are Catholic, don't you ever leave!" Ha!
It is here that I must say that I absolutely refuse to make any determination as to someone's eternal destination, even in regards to those living in serious sin. Again, that's God's decision. (But, um, that's not to say that I don't think some VERY nasty thoughts about some VERY nasty people sometimes. Ha!) At Furman, I did hear many people (Baptists specifically) make a determination that, in my opinion, should be left only to God, because He alone knows what is in our hearts. I always say that the reason why God sent me to Furman was to help Protestants understand Catholics better. ; ) Then I jokingly add that, as a result of me attending and worshipping at Laurel Baptist Church throughout my time at Furman (in addition to going to Mass), the preacher there (Dr. Gay) fell off his chair when I told him that I was Roman Catholic, at which point he said, "Noelle, I have spent my life persecuting Catholics. . . . No more. No one who would come and worship with us, praise God with us, read the Bible with us, and help a friend [Kristen] come to Christ is worthy of that persecution. Never, ever again." Wow, huh? Yeah, my shining moment. ; )
Oh yes, I do remember the stories about Bob Jones and others. Ironically, it is specifically the Baptists that I had a great camaraderie with. (But as for the ones in the cottage, they never knew me well enough to give me a chance, I think. And I didn't know there was any anti-Catholic sentiment until you and Jenny told me. Just a strange feeling that I felt totally alone.)
I'm going to admit that your original question in the last e-mail had me doing in-depth research on my Faith that I hadn't done to that extent for YEARS (since someone asked me to get more specific about pro-life issues and a student asked me to clarify some pre-marital chastity issues, . . . ha! Luckily, Catholicism has specific rules for sex & conception, . . . so I ended up writing a whole book for my high school students about it, . . . that I now have handy to give to either Leia or Annie at the sign of a first serious boyfriend! Hooray!). I truly feel that the Holy Spirit guided my hand to help me with our conversation today, . . . I even asked St. Thomas Aquinas to pray, for goodness sake! ; )
Before the party today, I thought about bringing Steve a quick read: Brian's most recent book called Why Do Catholics Do That? of which the McNeils gave him a duplicate. This is just because Steve was so interested in the Mass. But I was SO afraid that he would take it as an attempt to convert him, I just couldn't do it. Plus, I didn't think it was appropriate at a child's party, regardless. If you think he would like it (feel free to ask him), I would be happy to give it to him. It might make for interesting reading and discussions at least. Brian has two now. Ha! But I won't mention it again, I would be mortified if Steve thought I was infringing on his spirituality.
Please know that you can always come to me with your Catholic questions, and I will always give you the real Catholic answers (Bible & Catechism at my bedside). You must know that you have to be a VERY close friend for me to share these things with. And I'll leave that as a testament to our friendship as well as our faith.
& I love you, too! ; )
Love,Noelle
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